Sometimes it's hard..

Well we are moving along although my lesson on Friday was a bit eventful. I can feel my fear creeping up again when Kizzy starts acting hot. She has never done anything to feed this fear but the anxious feeling is always in the back of my mind. I really think it is my age and the fact that I don't ride everyday. Two Fridays ago we were having a lesson and she was dancing around and kicking out when I was trying to move her forward. This was all because a few pigeons were doing the naughty dance up in the rafters. When she gets like this she completely tunes the rider out and she gets really mad when you keep pestering her with your forward aids. Well we ended up lunging her and getting her refocused then Chels jumped on and put her through her paces. I am glad Chels can just work her through it but it is tough not being able to do that myself.

My lesson last Wednesday was awesome but it was at the barn she is used to and there is less going on. During the beginning of that lesson my son Gage asked if we could bring Gunther over to the barn so he could ride too (Gunther being my 33 yr old horse at home). This just pulled at my heart strings. He has been wanting to ride with me and get a pony for a long time now. He loves to help with the horses like I had mentioned before and it hurts me that he can never help me with Kiz. I also would like my husband and Gage to enjoy coming to horse events with me. With Kiz my husband worries to much and he can't really help me with her either because he is not the most horse savvy. I am starting to worry that Kiz is to much horse for me at this point in my life and it makes me wonder about my goals. I still love to rid her and she is amazing but she brings so much anxiety to my life that I am not sure I want. I know that this has crossed my mind before as seen in previous post but with Kiz getting in better shape she is getting also a bit more full of herself. As of now we are still on track with YEH but I have a lot of thinking to do.....